change

All posts tagged change

Dear America, 

Posted by Alyx Michele on November 10, 2016
Posted in: Through My Eyes. Tagged: , , , , , , . 4 Comments

I know this post is different than what I normally do, and I will go back to my normal posts after this and the next one. Disclaimer: I don’t speak or think ill of those who supported any of the presidential candidates. I have friends and family who voted for each of them. While I may not agree with someone’s choices or why they made them, that doesn’t make me love anyone any less. If anything it heightens that because we need love now more than ever. This post is my being upset with the system in general, which isn’t news. The next post will be about people and how we treat each other. Then I’m done and will go back to my travel related posts. And so, without further ado, let’s get to it. 

An idea. Whoever gets the majority of the vote, whether I support that candidate or not, should be president. The people vote, the votes are counted, and such is that. That is democracy. This is a weird twisted I don’t even know what.


I have tried extremely hard throughout the whole thing to keep quiet about how I feel about everything. But I can’t do that anymore. This is not about a specific party or specific person, this is about our country as a whole and who actually decides what happens to it. 
Yes we could use a change to the system but what happened throughout this recent election process was not quite what I hope people had in mind. However, what happened is what happened. We cannot change or deny the issues that have been exposed. How people generally deal with conflict, controversy, and fear of the unknown and fear of the different. 
We can stand together and fight for what we believe in as we always have. 
The key is to stand together. “United we stand” doesn’t really seem to be the case here unfortunately, in light of all the hatred (not directed at just one party by the way). 
Right now it is more apparent than ever how divided we are. Right now the statement “divided we stand, united we fall” is a more accurate description of the situation. And fall we will, unless we as individual human beings regardless of party come together and do what is right for the country, and for all of the people who make up the country. 
Everyone has friends who are people of color, lgbt+, women, men, immigrants, hard workers, lazy a$$es, people of all sorts of psychosocioeconomic backgrounds. They are our friends! 

We are all people.
At the end of the day we are all humans. Every single one of us. No matter the race, gender, sexual orientation, or any other experience of life. We are human beings and deserve to be treated as such, AND it is also our responsibility to treat others as such also. Treat others the way you want to be treated should always be top priority. No exceptions. No excuses.
On the note of a change…how about a change to the existence of the electoral college. Even members of the electoral college are unhappy with the existence of the electoral college. I know it is not that simple and other adjustments need to be made as well. Yes change is scary. It always has been and always will be as we are typically creatures of habit. Side note: completely wiping out everything that has been done the past eight years is not a humanistic approach at all. Why can’t people just build off of what their predecessors have done, rather than discrediting everything without close examination of the pros and cons and how doing so will affect not only this nation but how doing so will affect the entire world?
My thoughts of what democracy is or should be have always been that people discuss all sorts of sides, opinions, stances (hopefully supported with extensive research and consideration), and then people vote for what they agree with and/or believe in. The votes are then tallied up and then whoever person/whatever proposition received the most votes is who/what takes effect. 

That is not the case in this country who claims to be so great with the best system of democracy in the world. Whether or not that is the case, we still have a lot of progress that can still be made.
While I understand the reason behind the existence of the electoral college when it started, I disagree with its existence now. Things are different now because things do indeed change all of the time. Social Darwinism. People vote, people decide.

 To quote Monty Python’s Life of Brian, “we are all individuals!” That is trumped (pardon the word choice) by the electoral college for the second time in 2000 and the fifth time in presidential history. The popular vote doesn’t always win. But the people are the popular vote. I thought the people decide, not some small portion of them. 

The electoral college’s purpose is not really necessary anymore. Some people want to be progressive but others don’t and that is understandable. 
A lot of the people I’ve talked to are/have been voting for whichever candidate and basing their decisions on what they think a party has been based on for so many years. But that has nothing to do with how we can change and grow as human beings in a changing and growing world. The world is changing and we should adapt to it (socially, psychologically, economically, environmentally, etc). The two party system perpetuates that. 
You shouldn’t vote a certain way just because of the way you’re expected to by who or what you associate with. You should vote based on your own personal and EDUCATED opinions. Opinions validated by objective nonpartisan and scientific research. (Global warming for one example. Saying it’s a hoax created by China is just stupid, sorry).
The parties’ stances don’t seem to be malleable enough to change at the rate required to transform our society into one of love, acceptance and progression. One in which we don’t jump to insults, violence, human rights issues, and other acts of hatred. That only comes from the population and their opinions on specific issues that should not all just be decided by one person or one party. We the people, ALL of the people, should be able to and should decide what kind of environment and world we live in. 
But people’s opinions and choices don’t matter all that much when the final decision comes down to an extremely small percentage of the population. 
I don’t think many people realize that when they are voting for president, they are not actually voting for president. They vote for the electoral college representatives who then make their own personal choice of what they think is best. So then what’s the point? Let’s bring the point of voting into action and let the people actually decide. Ending the existence of the electoral college won’t reduce the amount of deeply rooted hatred that exists in people it exists in, but it will make our country’s process for choosing leaders a much more truly democratic one.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel…Oh Wait, That’s a Train!

Posted by Alyx Michele on March 24, 2016
Posted in: Through My Eyes. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 Comments

“Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you were supposed to be?” -Danielle LaPorte

“And are either of those people who you really want to be?” -Alyx Michele (me), in response to above.

I can easily travel by myself, and I have been doing so, obviously. However, I have always found a way to occupy myself in order to avoid the self-reflections required to open and sort through the issues in my “mental box” that have been locked for many years. Whenever I would acknowledge the presence of the box, I become Brad Pitt in Se7en for a split second asking “Ah what’s in the box?” and just as quickly decide, “Nope, just kidding I don’t want to know right now.” And the box continues to exist ignored. Lot’s of things go in, but nothing comes out. Well, they need to. The box has needed to be dealt with for a long time in order for me to truly understand myself and become the person I want to be.

I  spent all of college focusing on academics and the surface issues (residual effects of my parents’ divorce and body image issues mainly), rather than spending my time and energy chasing boys and what not. If I didn’t spend my time and energy on “me,” I would by no means be the same person writing this today. I can say that I am proud of the person I have become, and am excited to continue growing into the person I want to and CAN be. Life is a work in progress, how we see ourselves and the world is a work in progress, the world itself is a work in progress.

The only thing blocking me from the final frontier of progress is my avoidance of opening the Pandora’s Box of my past experiences and thoughts. Until a few days ago I was kind of freaking out about the fact that I will finally be processing all of this stuff now, but not anymore. After a few conversations with a friend (mainly her knocking sense into me haha), I wrote a list of the things I at least think are in the box so I know what things to start with during the processing and reflecting. The list wasn’t actually as long once I condensed it into themes, which were not surprising either. And all of the themes really just contribute to the question of what I really want for/out of one main aspect of life. Honestly, I feel that most of the work is already done, simply by that. I put the list away and will not be looking at it until I am on the train, and will continuously condense and cross things off as I go through and think about everything.

Thinking is good. It helps with the creative and learning processes with everything, but this time those exercises will be geared towards those pesky, shelved internal issues that have been put on the back-burner for so long. I have discussed before that I feel the best way to learn about one’s self, and the majority of my maturation and self-discovery process has occurred whilst traveling. And so the time has come. Just me, a few train rides, my thoughts, and random strangers (some of whom will most likely become lifelong connections).

After a long conversation with a dear friend, I feel much better about the situation. I think. We will see when the time comes. But as she said, “You’re the only one who can do it and address it and fix it. It is directly tied to how you feel about yourself and your life, so it will be what you make of it.” She is exactly right. I am going to find out a lot of information about who I am today, and how exactly my past experiences have affected me at various stages of my life.

When we receive information of any kind, there are two main choices: take action or ignore. I am choosing to take action: make any necessary adjustments, set reachable goals and achieve said goals. Ignoring problems does not make them disappear or easier to deal with. It just makes dealing with them that much harder if/when you decide to do so. But it will be much more worth your while to actually deal with them, otherwise the person you really want to and CAN be will never become a reality.

That being said, I am still very excited for this trip and look forward to seeing some friends and family I haven’t seen in a while, as well as witnessing some awesome landscapes. This will be a good trip and I will definitely be much closer to the person I want to be, as that always happens when I travel. I highly recommend others do this or something similar as well! 🙂

Well, I am on the first train now! Stay tuned for my writings on the food, scenery, interactions, and everything else!

Overwhelming Excitement

Posted by Alyx Michele on October 13, 2015
Posted in: Through My Eyes, Travel Life. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

I have been researching every country that exists in the world so I have an idea of what I want to do when the time comes for me to go there. Currently, I only have a couple more countries to research in Europe and then Asia, and then I will post my findings. The late hours of staring at a computer screen reading history and feedback, admiring photographs taken by others, and writing down ideas of how I feel I would gain the most of my experiences are so worth it. I have been excited through it all, but as I go through France, the feeling of excitement escalating to an overwhelming level. One, it’s France. I suppose I have more of an attachment to France than other countries since I have been learning the language for four years, but this also means that I am almost done reading about pretty much every place there is in the world. My plan of action: write down what I want to do, research visa requirements, learn about currency exchange rates to prepare my savings, and learn the languages. Plural. All of them? Perhaps. I like learning languages, but knowing a little of a little only goes so far, so now of course I have set my mind to learning as many languages as possible. We shall see how this goes, but that’s the beauty of having the internet and international friends I suppose. Wish me luck!

What am I doing with my life???

Posted by Alyx Michele on October 2, 2015
Posted in: Through My Eyes. Tagged: , , , . 1 Comment

Just kidding. I know exactly what I’m doing.

Being drawn to something outside of the traditional set of cultural expectations and norms is okay. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Take a look at what you want to do and ask yourself these questions: “Will this make me happy? Is the effect on myself and others generally positive? What do I need to do to make this happen? How long approximately will it take?” Then create a plan and do it! Throughout high school and college, I had a very strict plan. I was to finish my undergraduate in psychology in three years, then go straight to graduate school in a PhD program in Clinical Psychology, and ultimately open up my own practice specializing in MFT and eating disorders. My plans to travel the world were going to wait until I had established my career. While many would suggest that is the more responsible and normal thing to do, I started realizing I didn’t feel it would make me happy and effective to do things quite that way anymore. In the second semester of my second year of college, I decided I wanted to study abroad in Australia during the first semester of my last year. I thought to myself “Do I want to focus my energy soaking up education and life in Australia or spend it stressing about taking the GRE and grad school essays while there? Grad school can wait because I will be a much more effective and happier human being taking in this new world I am in.” I spent a significant amount of time thinking about this plan change, I went through with it, and I survived!

I then got a job (psych related!) to fill in the gap year between grad school so I can plan for grad school in that time. Plans changed when I didn’t do well on the GRE both times I took it, and I would not have a strong enough application I’d be satisfied with if I applied anyway. Okay, second plan change, grad school will have to wait another year. Due to significant issues that I will not waste time discussing, I felt it was best to leave that job I was so excited about initially. I started tutoring, which I love, and that got me thinking “Wow, I can put away a significant amount of money for grad school now.” Then I went to Peru for two weeks as a humanitarian clown with Patch Adams and colleagues. As I am writing a week and a half after returning from the trip, I am still processing everything I experienced and learned and have yet to be able to put that into words. So stay tuned for that. Anyway, I met someone there who bought a one way ticket to Iquitos because he was planning on staying for an undecided amount of time before moving on to the next country which was also undecided at that time. He had the means to travel around central and south America like that, and it got me thinking about how that is exactly how I have wanted to travel. I always thought it was a ridiculous plan, but now not so much. I sat down and really thought about it and I realized this could work! I can do it! No, I WILL do it!

I have constantly been talking about how I want to travel the world and go everywhere. So why not do just that? Because of our society’s norm of going to school then more school then work and then retire to Florida if you live long enough and have the means to do that. That has never appealed to me. Life is too short to succumb to society’s expectations and pressures from others, including family members if that is the case. It is my life, and although I am only twenty-two, I feel I am old enough, mature enough, and experienced enough to be able to figure out how to do what I want to do, and to also recognize if something is just not feasible. I do what I can to make things feasible before deciding it won’t work, however. I am also able to make sure what I want is positive for me and others and not be influenced or pressured into negative behaviors. Sure, I enjoy wine and beer (if it’s good), but getting wasted doesn’t appeal to me. When travelling, yes, I will drink but only one maybe two in order to experience the beer and wine of the place I am travelling in. Cocktails might happen if it’s a staple of that culture, and as I desire to learn and experience everything I can about as many cultures as possible, I will take part in that activity, (for cultural learning of course haha). I am actually really excited about participating in ayahuasca ceremony, which is a ceremony in which you drink a hallucinogenic substance and things go from there. That is a cultural experience so it gets put into a different category in my mind.

Anyway, the past few weeks have consisted of me printing out blank maps of every continent, country, region (which ever allows everything to fit onto one page with a large enough size to see the names of places). From there I go through each continent, country, state, region, and island and write down everything I want to do and experience when I am there. I am taking into consideration the highly recommended touristy attractions but keeping a keen eye out for any opportunity to blend with the native culture and locals. Every single place in the world is separated by potential trip in which I can go to as many places in that region as possible with an undecided time limit. What Marco was doing in South America is what I want to do everywhere. Having everything written out will allow me to look and see how much money is required to do everything I want to do, and then I will know how much time I will need to save up said money, and then go! Antarctica will be about $20,000 to do what I want to do there (3 weeks), unless I find a better deal within the next year, but I am okay with that. I have a target and now I am going to make it happen, and possibly will even be able to put in a couple smaller trips here and there. I have a two week winter break with the tutoring company that I refuse to waste at home, so I’m going to ICELAND!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What it Means to Me

Posted by Alyx Michele on September 14, 2015
Posted in: Through My Eyes. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

The key to dealing with differences is respect. Respect leads to learning (the fun part!), which then leads to growth; growth of the self, growth of interpersonal relationships, and growth of the relationship with the world. People will not be able to understand the way everything is and why. Respecting that there are ideals and behaviors that are different from us allows for relationships to form with people that would otherwise be ignored or shot down, figuratively and literally. In order to have any kind of effective relationship, compassion and understanding of differences need to occur, and those come from within through respect. Respecting yourself, your family and friends, your environment, and the world in general will lead you to a much more positive life, as well as helping to shape the positive lives of those around you. Anything less can frequently (if not always) lead to disappointment, resentment, and lack of respect from those you desire respect from the most. Changing your attitudes on yourself and others is surprisingly easier than it seems with the right amount of drive, and almost instantaneously relieves the level of stress experienced prior to this discovery.